10 Ways Married Men Cover up Their Wedding Rings
Posted in Dating Tips by admin
July 15th, 2011
So, you’re out in public and think you want your wedding ring out of sight, but you aren’t sure how it can be accomplished? It’s not the smartest or noblest thing you’ll ever do, but here is a list of things that you can try.
- Never take off your gloves. If someone asks you why you never remove your gloves, you can tell them that you’re experiencing weakness in your fingers, and the gloves help your grip. Yes, I know that this may become uncomfortable, as your hands swim in their own perspiration, but it’s one of the prices you must be willing to pay for being sneaky. This also works in the gym if you are a weightlifter that uses gloves, just keep your gloves on even if you are only doing cardio.
- Fake injury. Fashion a large bandage or fake cast to wear on your left hand when the need arises. This is not only an effective tool for hiding the ring, it carries the added benefit of potentially garnering sympathy from the person that you don’t want to see your ring.
- Napkin disguise. If you are in a location where refreshments are being served, hold a drink wrapped in a large napkin in your left hand, while casually allowing the napkin to drape over your ring finger. One disadvantage to this method, of course, is that your cold drink will not remain cold for very long, and you’ll have to get used to sipping on a stagnant drink.
- Newspaper. Another method is to always be holding a folded newspaper in your left hand, with your ring finger hidden in the fold. This can be very effective for a short time, but you run the risk of appearing to have a newspaper fetish if you try and carry it out for an extended period.
- Snack plate. If you happen to be at a party where people are standing around and nibbling on snacks, you can carry a plate of hors d’oeuvres on the palm of your left hand. Using this method can also allow you to always be able to offer a tidbit to someone as a way of starting a conversation. The downside is a tired and achy left elbow by the end of the party.
- Pocket man. Keep your left hand in your pants pocket at all times. Effective, but also carries a risk of folks making unsavory assumptions as to why your hand never leaves your pocket.
- Dandruff itch. Scratch the back of your head or neck with your left hand every time the person from whom you are hiding the ring is near. This can also be effective, but only in conjunction with other methods, as you run the risk that said person will think you have a skin condition or head lice.
- Behind the chair. As the person in question approaches, drape your arm across the back of the chair next to yours, with your ring finger hidden behind the chair-back. Of course, that person may think that you’re claiming that chair for someone else, and move on to another table, defeating your purpose in hiding the ring.
- Pet lover. Always keep a cat or small dog somewhere close, for you to snatch up and carry draped across your left hand and arm. I recommend an extremely docile animal, for obvious reasons.
- Take your wedding ring off before entering the room. This can work, but only if used in conjunction with numbers 1 or 2, in order to cover up the circular indentation left by the ring. And, yes, there will be an indentation, because you and I both know that you’ve gained weight since your wedding day and that ring is a lot tighter than it used to be.
In reviewing these 10 methods of hiding your wedding ring, I come to the following advice and conclusion: Forget it. It’s not going to work in the long run, anyway. You’ll forget what you’re doing and it will be seen after all of the awkward attempts, or some acquaintance that you hadn’t noticed in the room will see what you’re doing and ask your wife why she thinks you’re hiding it. Either way, it just isn’t worth the hassle. You may as well just admit to being married, come what may.
