So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison  men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, “damned if they do, and damned if they don`t”. I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything  to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say.  Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do…HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

“I am always ready to risk.
I am always ready to learn.
I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!”

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Whether you and your spouse both work outside of the home, or one of you stays home with the children, it’s easy for one person to feel out of the financial picture. It’s important in a marriage to feel equal to your partner, on all levels of the playing field. Even if you don’t feel “stuck”, it’s important for couples to communicate openly about their financial situation, and try to better it together.

Most marriages have their financial ups and downs. It can truly be a test to your relationship with your partner in dealing with the downs in particular. Here are some tips to help you deal with these situations in the quickest and calmest way possible.

1.)    Pick the Right Time. Find a non stress time to sit down and have a discussion with your partner. Me and my husband love to go on evenings out, because it gives us a chance to discuss important issues in a non stress environment. If you must stay home, make sure the kids are not present during the conversation.

2.)    Come Prepared. Write down the matters you have been thinking about beforehand so that you can stay on track during your discussion.

3.)    Don’t Get Emotional. Avoid personal attacks towards your spouse. Use “I” instead of “you” when speaking. Don’t be argumentative and state how you feel. Don’t point fingers, and don’t start a fight.

4.)    Take Turns. Common courtesy will help you achieve your goals. Feeling equal to your partner will come with a general respect between you and your partner.

5.)    Make a Plan. Discuss the situation and future plans with your spouse. Make sure you have a basic budget in place and discuss you and your partner’s vital steps in your financial future. Compile a money to-do list and check your progress often.

Remember the love you have for each other during the conversation, and listen
Also to what your partner has to say during the discussion. If it seems to be a bad time in general to talk about it, remember that there will be another opportunity to let your partner know how you feel. Let it go, and pick a better time in the future.

Who has never ever thought of looking for Mr. and Ms. Right? Certainly, not you! There always comes the point in your life that you entertain the idea of spotting the partner that you would ever imagine spending your whole life with. There’s the famed cliché that says “No man is an island”. It only goes to show that man needs other people to guarantee his existence in one lifetime. And as is the case with both a man and a woman, each needs a partner in life. How else could you achieve the realization of such dream other than by starting to date someone?

Dating is one conventional way of ending up in a commitment. A partner in life does not come out of the wave of the magic wand. You need to go through a process and that is called as dating. Dating is likewise an effective tool for courting so that you would end up reaping the fruits of your labor at the end of it all.

These days, online dating is one of the primary trends for those who are seeking for their prospect partners. Who said so that only researching and shopping have gone high tech? For one, dating services are now accessible online! Yes, you’ve read it right. The internet is your latest and most innovative comfort when it comes to finding yourself a date and soon to be partner. The best online dating services can be accessed from a multifarious websites. You simply need to key in the words “online dating services” and you would be directed to the list of websites that can provide you with such opportunities.

Checking out the Best Online Dating Services

There is no doubt that the internet has gotten itself moving in a faster pace as the days fly by. With this comes along the realization of many individuals that their love prospects can be attainable through the internet. There have been many people who have started getting themselves involved in online dating services, so to speak. What can you possibly expect from these online dating services?

First and foremost, you are to be guaranteed that you are going to be provided with the opportunities of finally finding your Mr. or Ms. Right.

Second, your searches are much precise and fast.

Third, the online dating services out there provide an amiable customer relations support.

And fourth, some other exciting features come as surprises for you.

The Features of the Best Online Dating Services worth Watching Out for

Satisfactory Searching Capacity. The best online dating services allow you of a wide range of search location options. The results must then be quick and detailed. Personal profiles, physical elements, hobbies, interests, lifestyle, religion, and other related characteristics are among those that lead you to the best and most perfect candidate for your standards.

Compatibility Study. In order for these online dating services to ensure that you find no one else but the perfect person for you, some compatibility analyses are done. Your personal data bank is matched with that of another person for some comparison and contrast.

Membership Payment. Of course, you’ve got to pay for the package of your choice and the rates vary as well. The features of the packages may include the receipt of email and chat alerts, background checks, voice messaging, and many others.

Help and Support Status. FAQs, tutorial pages, customer representatives, and the likes are provided to ensure client satisfaction.

The best online dating services are just around. This can be the perfect option for you. Therefore, choose wisely.